First Time

When was the first time that you felt like an adult?

For me, that was today. Well, I am an adult, I've been one for awhile now. Today I felt most like an adult because I made the decision for my son not to watch TV....OK, I'm getting ahead of myself.

Today started like any other day. Wake up at 6:40, get my son out of bed and on the couch so that he can wake up, and eat breakfeast before he has to go to school. The problem today was that it was Monday. The other problem was that he didn't want to go to school and wear his uniform. In Taiwan kids have to wear uniforms to school.

This is what boredom looks like.

The kid today didn't want to go to school because he had to wear the uniform. He wanted to stay home. Since I work from home, he thought he could take advantage of me being at home. Unfortunately, I couldn't stay at home today. I had errands to run and just couldn't take care of him. As the time passed for him to go to school, my wife and I decided that he woud go to his Secondary English school at noon. It was 8:15 when we decided to call it.

This was the time I felt like an adult and like my dad. I put my foot down and with my index finger pointing at my son, I told him the parameters of staying home with dad. No TV, no toys, no reading, no doing anything productive.  He had to sit in one place till I decided it was time to leave. I thought this lesson would encourage him to go school the next day and avoid staying home because home was not fun. I also removed anything comfortable for him to lay on. So thats why he's sitting there without cushions in the picture below. He had to sit with his butt to the back of the couch, which is uncomfortable and he had to think about the decision he made today.

He sat in the area for about 3 hours. Kid time, probably felt like an eternity. By the end, He was about to fall alseep, but each time I would tell him to "wake up" and "sit up straight".

At the end of this lesson, I asked him if he was bored and if he wanted to stay home again? He looked up at me with dark eyes and general face of being bored out of his mind, He nodded his head yes and seemed like he wanted this lesson to end. I let him sit there 15 more mins and then we went out to run errands.

Weekend Morning Routine

Every Saturday and Sunday my 3 year old wakes up and says "Daddy, I want Milk". So I groggily get up, while my son and wife are still heavily blanketed in sleep Utopia. Kid's still lying in bed. It must be great to be a toddler. So goes my Saturday and Sunday morning Routine

1) Get up and mix my son's formula, I think about 200cc or so, I really don't know, I'm still asleep.
2) Mix the formula, go back to bed and hear him slurping away on his milk bottle till I quickly fall back asleep.
3) Once he's done, he alertly says "Daddy, i want to watch a video"
4) I hastily get up and pop in the DVD...have you noticed he doesn't say Mommy, I want...?
5) I get up and put in a video, something that lasts 30 mins so I can sleep a little longer.
6) Once 30 min video is over, he comes in to my bed room and says, "Eric Video is over, I want to watch Do Do video." I look over to my wife, nice and toasty insider her covers! Thinks to myself, "She's so lucky!"

About this point, I make sure to note that it's about 8:30-9:00 AM. He takes about 2 hour nap at noon to 1 pm. Usually we plan to go out before his bed time. But nonetheless, we're at the beckon call of 3 yr old time.

7) I put in the Do Do video, which is another 17 mins of sleep time.
8) During this time, since I'm awake, I hear sneezing, running back and forth and general naughtiness, and I get up and supervise a bit, and then go go back to bed.
9) He runs to the toilet and when he can't take off his pants, he squeals.
10) He's done and runs out of the toilet without his underwear and pants.
11) Knowing this, I get out of bed. retrieve his pants and underwear and put them on him while he watches TV.

Its about 9:30, I'm out of bed. His video's are done and I turn to regular TV.  At this point, he's playing with his toy cars, but once he realizes the TV's on, he comes and sits next to me, and says "I want to watch cartoons." I realize I'll never win, but thank goodness for Disney and Cartoon network.

What's your kids' favorite cartoons? 

Being a Father/Parent

I never knew being a father would be so tough and so rewarding at the same time. After being a father for two years and counting, I have to say that the hardest part is keeping my emotions in check. Sometimes I feel like my son listens to me and he's doing what I ask. And other times I feel he wants to make me mad to see how far he can push me before I do something like yelling at him. At times, I feel like the Green Monster is peeking just wanting to get out and start the rage!

One of the greatest feeling in the world is when you're bilingual and your kid understands both languages that you're talking to them in. I had a fun little interaction with my son some time ago when I asked him in Chinese 你好嗎 (How are you?) and in return, he answered in English "I'm Fine!". It was such a tender moment that I was stunned. I wasn't expecting him to say that, especially in English. That's when your heart melts and you get a big smile on your face. And say to yourself, I did something right!

There are other times, when the TV is off and you bring a book for him to read along with. Sometimes its more of him trying to see the pictures of the book himself and sometimes its me trying to wrestle the book away from him so he doesn't rip the pages. Its a learning experience, for the both of us.

Then there are times, when things don't go mommy and daddy's way and the kid isn't happy either. The tantrum begins and no one in the house is happy. That's the time that we need to suck it up and find out why he's unhappy. Maybe he's hungry, or maybe he needs a nap or maybe he wants to use the iPad. So many questions, but in the end it comes to one thing. Mommy and daddy needs to practice more.

And possibly instead of the kid getting a time out, the parents need a time out too. I don't like punishing ourselves for thinking that we're doing a bad job, but kids know way more than us. Go to the corner and think about what you did, mom and dad!

living in the concrete jungle that is Taipei.

I’ve been in Taiwan for several years now and here is what I learned...

Getting by in Taipei...

1) At all costs, if you don’t want to be bothered, just speak English. It doesn't even have to be comprehensable. They’ll walk away fast! Especially if they’re older or kids in their late teens early 20’s. They have learned English but some are too shy to speak, they’ll have the deer in the headlights stare. It’s pretty fun.

2) Even the locals do this, but I have a soundtrack when I step out in the streets of Taipei. I never go anywhere without my headphones/mp3/phone. Music makes everything much sweeter.

3) When you get a cell phone call…pick up and say “whasaaaaup”? Especially on the metro, you'll get looks...dirty stares :P I've seen an english speaker on the metro with no one around him. He was chatting on his phone and there was no one within 2 feet around him. He's got the English shield.

4) Go out to a Chinese restaurant and can't read the menu. Just ask the waiter for their recommendation...its always a good surprise to find out what you’re going to eat.

5) Bargaining or haggling with street vendors and sometimes electronics dealers is always the norm. My wife talked her way to a 30% discount on a pair of shoes.

6) The longer the line someplace is, the more “famous” the food. I can’t explain it, I just follow where my wife takes me! If the line is halfway around the block, then it must really be good food.

7) If its winter time in Taiwan…head for the hot springs!

8) They say an hour drive time is a long time in Taiwan.

9) Theres a 7-Eleven mostly on every street corner. Once in a while, you’ll find a Family mart or Hi life next to a 7-Eleven.

10) The dogs here know how to cross the street. I have seen a dog sit at the intersection waiting for the light to turn so that it can cross the street. My dog in the US can’t even do that.


11) You can use your smartphone anywhere. I was sitting in a taxi at a stop light and next to us, there were a pair of motor scooters with the riders checking their smartphone.  


12) On rainy days like the states, people forget how to drive. 

I'm the Cook!

The Tools

I found another love. My wife knows about it and she's not jealous. I realized that I could do this everyday  and even though it can be time consuming, doing this activity actually makes me relax and makes me creative.

Though I'm not an expert cook, I cook because its actually relaxing. I found that cooking is a form of stress relief for me. Its something that I can control and really fun because I can do whatever I want. There's no one to tell me what to do. Even if I mess up, my family won't complain.

the cookbook

Over the course of February and March, my cooking has gotten better. I learned how to use spices and and oils to make the food better. I have a cookbook or recipe book of foods I'd like to try out but a lot of foods that needs an oven is not in my recipe book. I do however have a wishlist when we have more money for a house. I want an oven in my house. Currently my house is too small for an oven. Unfortunately I live in Taiwan which doesn't have room for an oven. But eventually when we move back to the US, an oven comes standard in each home. So that's one of my dreams. Back when I lived in the US, I took our oven for granted, and if I knew I would live in Taiwan, I would have taken more of an advantage.


My favorite recipe is cubed chicken and rice or pasta. I usually use A1 sauce and some spices I found to put into my recipe. Olive oil is the best as its pretty healthy for people. With cubed steak, its pretty interesting to see how your progress is by how much feed back you get from your wife or brother, or sister or significant other. My wife said that the food is better. I'm happy, I'm evolving.

That time I lived in Europe

I lived in Europe, for 1 year exactly. I left Columbus, Ohio on August 16 2002 and lived, worked, loved, and got thrown out of a bar for taunting a couple of drunk skinheads in Zilina, Slovakia. I'm rushing ahead, so I'll start at the beginning.

In the Summer of 2002 I was graduating from The Ohio State University. But before graduating, I realized I had no plan after graduation, no job prospects, nothing that stuck out for me career wise. I was basically a ship without a direction. Then one day, I was walking toward class and saw an Ad in the Ohio State newspaper called the Lantern. In the Lantern there was an ad by AIESEC which wanted to send people abroad to study and work. I thought, this would be a great opportunity for me to see the world after I graduate from College.

The country I loved and lived in.

AIESEC found a position for me to teach English in a local private high school in Zilina, Slovakia. It was great, i would work during the week and travel on the weekends. It worked great between me and my roommates. My roommate at the time was from Finland, and his name is Tero Viitala. To this day, i still can't roll my r's. And my other roommate was Ladislav Vargas from Slovakia.  Tero and I would go travelling a lot because even though he is from Europe, he did not travel to many places.  Eventually he would remind me a few times, "Hey Howard, when is your Visa stay end? Let's do a Visa run when we go to Poland, Hungary, or Austria next weekend." There were a few weeks where we're completely exhausted from travelling the previous weekend and we'd look at each other and say "Relaxing Weekend!" It was fun and Tero still is a friend to this day. He's got 3 beautiful daughters and his wife Kata, also an AIESEC'r has a beautiful family in Finland. My other roommate, Ladislav, or Laco as we called him was the guy that got us stuff, movies, movies, and a lot of help communicating things in Slovak was a big help. He now lives in Malaysia and he tried visiting me in Taipei, but the poor guy got lost in the Mountains of Taipei and missed our meeting.  Laco...next time you come to Taipei, bring your phone with you on a hike! Glad you're safe buddy! 

My work was ok, for Slovakia. I'd like to say I enjoyed teaching English, but one of the main reasons I moved to Slovakia was because I wanted to see what it was like living in a different culture, rather than a fusion of Chinese and America culture in America, actually in my little world that was Columbus, Ohio. I wanted to get out of the fish bowl and jump into the ocean so to speak. In my year in Slovakia, I got homesick, quite a few times. But sports like Soccer (Football) and Hockey was what got me through the tough times.

Hockey Got Me through Homesickness.

Hockey got me through a lot of homesickness because this was before Skype and Facebook became big. Myspace was the big man on campus. In any case, hockey was awesome. I knew the rules. Plus before I moved to Slovakia, I was an avid hockey fan. On a side note, when I got to see Bret The Hitman Hart in a wrestling event in Northern Ohio, we chatted about Hockey. How cool was that? Hockey was my mainstay and since the tickets were cheap, I went to regular home games as much as I had time for, which wasn't much.

End of part 1.

Reason why I'm in Taiwan.

The One that I stayed in Taiwan for.

So in one of my other posts in "Making friends in Taiwan", I mentioned that I met my wife through one of the groups mentioned. I actually met her friends at an Oriented event and through a series of fortunate events, the moon and planets aligning and prayer, then I found her. We met at a friends party who was having a house warming party for those of us who played Flag Football. The team got together and the girls I met at the Oriented get together the week before, I called because I really didn't want to hang out with a bunch of dudes for the umpteenth time in a row.

What got me started in finding a girl...it was a team

It wasn't love at first sight. I know people who stare across the room and see that perfect someone and well, that wasn't us. She was sitting beside me and what I noticed most was her black socks. C'mon, there was 10 of us in a room and not enough seats, so some of us had to sit on the floor.  It was a room full of foreigners (White dudes) and me. Also considered a foreigner, but I speak mandarin so they chose me as translator.

The love connection

As the night dragged on, I asked for Gladys' Skype screen name.  I didn't ask for her phone number, because I didn't think I'd end up calling her talking to her.  Little did i know then that it would come back to bite me.

And during the week at work I would Skype with her and chat with her. I got to know more and more about her and that she liked movies and going out. Typical things one would say in a chat. As the week was coming to an end, I asked her out on a date to Warner Village.  Warner Village or now called Vieshow Cinemas was a popular destination for people because there were clubs, restaurants, and a movie cinema nearby. Not to mention shopping until you drop.

Ate too much and couldn't keep eye contact

So the night of the date, My first choice was to go to Chili's. I like their baby back ribs. But the wait time was an hour.  So we walked around for a few mins and came upon Ruby Tuesday.  It says a lot that Ruby Tuesdays was a choice of mine...let alone a second choice. As this date is going along, we're sitting in a high traffic area and lots of people are walking by and I couldn't help but people watch.  Gladys wasn't my main focus, the people walking by were As you can see, the date is starting to get bad.

But wait, this date is far from over, it gets even worse. As we finish the dinner, we decide to go watch a movie. And not just any movie, its the movie that kills young people and uses their essence as Perfume. You guessed it, we watched Perfume a story of a murderer on a first date. It wasn't a bad story, it was a poor peasant kid wanting to perfect his craft and he went about killing innocent women. That was the only fault of the movie and oh yeah this scene got me cringing the most. Only because it was the first date and well, I'll let you see.

 

The scene that could prove worst date ever

When the date was over, it was well past midnight. Usually the MRT (Subway) in Taipei stops service around midnight so we shared a taxi to go home. And folks, this date is going to get worse. The taxi takes us to my apartment first because I lived in Taipei at the time and Gladys lived in Zhonghe.

Suped up Taxi that took me and Gladys home on our first date

The Taxi of course is not any Taxi. Its a Suped up Taxi. I should have known that stepping in a Taxi in front of Neo 19 in the Warner Village area would result in loud music and the driver, driving like a crazy man on the freeway. When we got to my apartment, I looked at Gladys and she looked pretty content with the date, but deep down I knew she was thinking, a few more mins with this guy and he's out. I said bye to Gladys and that I'd call/text her when she got home. 

I wrote down her cell number wrong.

So when I got home, I took a shower and read some emails before going to text Gladys to see if she got home alright from our date. The problem when I went to text her was that I found out that the number wouldn't go through. It would say sending for a while and it would give up. I found out later that I wrote down her number wrong. I was missing one number on her cell phone number. So the whole weekend leading up to Monday, 48+ hours, she thought that I had blown her off. She even told me that what I did was wrong. But there was no way I could have called her because the Skype at my work and my Skype at home were not syncing up at the time. So my savior...Skype. I Skyped her Monday morning and told her that I wrote down her number wrong and that it was all my fault. 

Our second date went much smoother a week later.  That's how our story began. It was rough and sometimes still is rough, but we move on, we communicate and sometimes text each other to say we love each other while we're at work.  Don't worry I have her number right this time.

 All in all, she's the reason I'm here in Taiwan. Plus this kid too.

This kid is why I'm here too!